5:30 am

Found this on my computer. Dont know when exactly and why I wrote it, but I like it, for some odd reason.
So here it is:

5:30 am
The clock synchronises inside with the dripping water outside,
Some voices murmur in the dark,
A lone rickshaw speeds of into the distance
and I go miles and centuries back and forth in my room ,
in the company of books.

It's strange this feeling,
of wakeful sleepiness.
There's a certain sense of urgency to stay awake,
Yet there's no pressing deadline.

It's just that.
The silence of the night,
the quiet scratch of pen on paper
and the hum of the refrigerator.

Yes it's time.

Yes it's time.
It's time to act, time to stand up, stand out, time to grieve, to forgive but not forget. Yes it's time, so they say.

There is a part of me that has just been wishing this away. Of course I've been shocked and struck by all the recent events, but I've also been equally affected by what has happened after.

Supposed peace marches that are Anti Pakistan,a new faith in religion,prayer, no solace and a million questions.
How long will we go on asking the same questions? Why has this happened to us? Will my city ever be the same again? Of course it will,I tell myself, but I know that I wont.

Whether we like it or not , a plan and scheme hatched far far away from home by people we don't know has changed the way we see things.

So many people have lost their lives.So many innocent victims.Of a hate game.
While talking to a friend about the media coverage of all of this, he said ,"They keep using the word dead.It's so harsh" I don't think they could used any other word to convey the real meaning of the nature of these deaths.

I don't know what to do, how these prayer meetings will help, except allow us to be part of something and give us a sense of unity.
I don't know if our government will change, people will change , or the city will change and if that happens, I don't even know how.

Ive been wanting to avoid this as each time I think of it, my brain goes into overdrive,my eyes well up and I feel utterly useless.

Yes I have attended meetings and peace talks, prayed and sung the national anthem,but this feeling just wont go away. Theres a gaping hole inside of me, that refuses to heal.It will heal with action, it will heal with time, is what I hear.
But should I want it to heal? Shouldn't I keep this wound fresh to keep this
spirit alive? I think we do need time and we do need a vent.

I try to read beauty magazines and listen to Bob Marley singing "Every lil thing is gonna be alright", but it doesn't help. Ignoring it is not the answer.
A prayer doesn't give me solace.
I must act. It seems to be the only thing there is to do, and confront this head on.
Speak to people, listen to their experiences,spread love, vote ,act and discuss this until I'm blue in the face.

This is my mourning
This, I hope, will be my solace.

May their souls Rest in peace.

Tata to cable, Sky's the limit for DTH

Vacations are a time of relaxation, catching up with old friends and fun even!
However this vacation has been even more tiring than anything I've done in a while.
What is driving this lack of sleep, frustration and fury?
Simple.
In the hope of making the lives of millions of Indians easier, our very own corporations that offer 'simple services' and 'easy plans' have gone a tad overboard in trying to do so.
I present to you:
Tata Sky's 'easy plan' for losing your mind.
1.Servers are suddenly unable to receive signal( note : this happens at most opportune times such as a cricket match final , a season finale of a K serial and other such defining moments in the life of one's family members.
2.In order to register a complaint, one has to converse with pre recorded voices for about 7-8 minutes, before you actually get a real person.(Mind you, it is possible to get mixed up with the two at times as they often sound the same.)
3.After fully explaining the problem , the telephone line promptly drops, thus making a person do the whole process all over again.
4.On acquiring a complaint number, and being told that 'your complaint will be resolved in 24 hours', nothing happens!
5. On calling to inquire on the status of your complaint, one is often informed that 'in the system, your complaint is stated as resolved'.
6. The end result:Loss of sanity.

Thus Proven: A very pleasant, and loving person, would turn violent given such conditions.(Highly recommended to any Army as a strategic torture device)

Conclusion: The new Tata sky + probably means the following:
Tata Sky + Hidden costs
Tata Sky + Bigger headaches
Tata Sky + complicated processes that no one will ever figure out!
-----------------------
How I long for the time of cable!Wasn't that great? Everyone got to watch the latest Hindi movies illegally and in turn was subjected to the terrible ads on cable! Remember the cheesy ads for Fantasy collections and Alankar opticians?

In the scramble for money , power and strength, something, and someone has been forgotten.The bigger they seem to grow, the narrower the thinking seems to get.Where are the good ol' values and Indian tradition that most of these companies claim they started out with and where does the consumer figure in all of this??
Whether we like it or not, Direct to Home (DTH) Television is now here to stay.

They talk about maximum customer satisfaction,but just give it a thought.
How convenient is it to just watch TV these days? How many remotes do you own?How many bills do you get in a month and so How many people are you paying just to watch a few shows?

While some of these questions remain unanswered,there is one thing I know for sure.
Since I've lagao dala'd Tata, my life has definitely NOT been jinga lala.

Money - Time = ? : The Money-Time equation

On the morning of Raj Thackeray's arrest, most households switched their
television sets early in the morning,to gear themselves with the news of riots, deaths,and pretty much anything.

However,much to everyone's suprise, no Indian English news channel was carrying anything about the arrest that early in the morning .
It was the regional channels that were flashing images of burnt buses,rioters and of course, 'beybus log '. Television screens were divided into three and four sections with the same information being repeated,over and over again. In their defence-At least there was information!

It was only after about half an hour to forty minutes that our English channels got on board the Thackeray coverage wagon.Up until then,there were horoscopes for the day, cooking shows and even business related stories.

This might be a pretty normal occurence, but it sure got me thinking.
In the age of competitive information, how fast should the news be out?What exactly are reporters scrambling for these days?Quick content or actual content?
Is it better to have the news out faster? Or with more accuracy?
How are these decisions taken?When I posed this question to a friend working in the finance sector, pat came the reply: "It's but obvious. The faster the information, the better."
Could that friend be true?Have news agencies started to operate on the principles
of profit and wealth maximization?If yes, then how viable is that?Wouldn't that work only in the short run?

I guess I'll know soon enough.Until then, the questions continue..

That time of the month

Silent pep talks.
Quiet and animated conversations in my head.
Anxiety, frustration,mood swings and depression.
All coupled with well timed pangs of hunger& soon enough, boredom.

I know I can,but somehow , ugh.
Why?
The essential question.
It's funny how you become philosophical at a time like this.
I guess there's nothing else to question,except your very existence itself.

Streams of unconsciousness,
Piles of papers,
Coffee stains ,
Blurry eyes
and German expressionism.

Yep, its that time of the month again,
Exam time.

New Age Nazis

Everywhere you look, increasingly, there is a need to conform.
Conform to a standard, a type, a structure.The individual must conform to function within a society and must by no means deviate from the norm.

A perfect example of this is the latest body craze.
Size zero, perfect shiny hair, slim waist, small feet, 36- 24 -36?If you look like this your life is perfect, if you don't, it's terrible.

Society is becoming more competitive.In a warped sort of way. "I must have higher cheekbones, a tighter butt, bigger breasts, a slimmer waist,longer legs."
It seems like a quest for a certain superhuman-type quality.
Only if you are a certain size and type are you important. If not, you're clearly unimportant and a waste of time. You must be changed or done away with completely.

Don't be fooled, this isn't a new age phenomenon.
In my mind, it seems to be the case of history repeating itself.


The ideological roots of the Nationalist Socialist party were based on numerous sources in European history, drawing especially from Romantic nineteenth century idealism, and from a biological reading of Friedrich Nietzsche’s thoughts on “breeding upwards” toward the goal of an Übermensch (“superhuman”)*

Hitler spoke of the Aryan race as a superior one. Blue eyes, blond hair and only that. Extermination of everything and everyone else that deviated from that norm.

Joseph Mengele is known to be one of the central Nazi experimenters who conducted the infamous Nazi experiments. One of the most well known of these was the injection of different chemicals into the eyes of twins to see whether it would change their eye colors . Such was their obsession for a certain type.

Fast forward to 2008.

Cosmetic surgery, liposuction, hair bonding,silicon implants, botox are all the order of the day. Increasingly more and more members of society are "experimenting" with their looks.Unwittingly, by experimenting, they are conforming to a certain norm.
What's even more alarming is the fact that people are opting for these methods by themselves.

What is driving this craze?

Study today's media and there's your answer. Check out shows like Discovery Travel and Living's "What not to wear" and MTV's "Style Check",and more recently,"Biggest loser jeetega" on Sahara One.

On "What not to wear",the hosts raid homes and closets of the 'fashion challenged' and 'teach' them how to present themselves better.MTV "Style Check" has anorexic looking models showing off the latest trends of the season. "Biggest loser jeetega" was a reality TV series based on weight loss and fitness.Simply put,the person who loses the most weight, wins.

Go to your local bookstore and the diet books are literally jumping off the bookshelves.Cosmopolitan,Verve and all the rest of the beauty magazines promote one type. One trend, one shape, one size.

The message is clear.
Fall in line.
Do not question,
Just follow.
Conform to the type.
Listen to the propaganda.

All hail the New age Nazis,the beauty industry and our media.

*Source: Nazism-Wikipedia.

Memory

The music pours out almost effortlessly and transports you
to another place, another time, another you, another them.
and you smile.
The fondness of the people,
the gestures, expressions, events.
You smile at the possibility of the memory.
Its yours, in the way you perceived it and no one can take that away from you.
Something that is innately yours, your perspective.
Your version
Your point of view.
Yours.

It's sort of your identity
and you guard it.

You guard it with your life,
sharing it with only a few deserving ones,
and then regretting it later as they brushed it away with a small smile,
and not total acknowledgement.
Almost as if shunning you, and the privacy that you exposed to share.

Bling Singh Vs Switzerland Swinger

Singh is Kinng vs. Bachna ae Haseeno seems a rather silly article and review to
be even writing.But please bear with me and read on. I promise I have a point.

Any young, urban city dweller reading this would probably say- Yuck? You actually went for Singh is Kinng?I know I would.For sure.

To those people I say Yes! I did go for the movie and wondered about how I would ever be able to make up those three hours of my life which would be lost to me forever. So yes, I thought the same way when I was dragged for the movie as part of a family bonding session.
How a family can bond while watching Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif in blinding yet matching fluorescent clothes is beyond me, but I digress.

After watching the two movies over that gloriously long weekend, I was able to draw a few (and in my mind interesting) conclusions.
We love to be dazzled. The pomp,splendour and jazz of Bollywood cannot be parallelled and we love it for that very reason. That's the reason why so many 'mindless' movies do so well.

That being said, we also have brains and something called memory.
Therefore, Yash Raj Studios might want to come up with some new formulae. Yes, the songs, beautiful locations,nice clothes and great bodies formula is great, but you know how its going to end eventually and who's going to end up with whom.And how many times have we seen variations of the same equation?
My memory fails.

Singh is Kinng wasn't an exceptionally unique nail biter or anything,it had all of the above.But at least you're is entertained by the silly jokes (sometimes politically incorrect),puns and typical plight of the Indian situation abroad.
Read:Akshay Kumar and toilet paper, cornflakes and milk referred to as chiwda aur doodh: angrezi breakfast.
Also,since the songs from that movie have been playing on BEST buses across the city, you've gotten so used to the sound that by the time you're at the theatre the melody has you tapping your foot!

Another conclusion was that people haven't heard of a Thesaurus. Attempt to count the number of times Ranbir Kapoor says 'killer'. You'll probably lose count(and your mind) within the first ten minutes of the movie.

In spite of the progressive nature of both these films,the women are still portrayed in ridiculously archaic roles. Neha Dhupia is the silly secretary who spouts dialogues from a host of Bollywood films.Minnisha Lamba , Bipasha Basu and Deepika Padukone are no match for Ranbir's "killer" looks and charm.(Deepika is for a while, but eventually falls for him and Bipasha attributes her stardom to Ranbir and their breakup). 2008 or 1758? You decide.

Some movies blind us. Some entice us, and some movies dazzle us.Both films seem to do all of the above.
Singh is Kinng, though silly and stupid,does this exceptionally well, with humour!
Bachna ae Haseeno is definitely more urbane with its characters, story and clothes.(Deepika studies for an MBA, Bipasha and Ranbir have a live-in relationship Ranbir makes zillions of dollars with his gaming business) The target audience of the film is even probably the young city dweller. But in my book,Singh is definitely Kinng.

Scoring point: While there is a fascination for the 'foreign land',wind mills,sky scrapers and white skin in both movies, Singh is Kinng perfectly underlines that no matter where we go and what we do,how we dress and what we eat,
we're all still Dil se Desi.

Can you pull the chain please? I want to jump onto the bandwagon

Why is it , that when something 'good' happens,
everyone wants to take credit for it, everyone wants to write about it
and pretty much the whole world wants to be associated with it?
But the minute there's something wrong, it's someone else’s
problem, and 'we' had nothing to do with it.

Take our very own star boy-Abhinav Bindra.
Not to take away from what he's achieved from the country or anything, it’s fantastic that its happened, and I'm very proud, as an Indian.
While you're busy dreaming up how many golds the country can achieve, what this means for us and what strengths must lie in our population, just take a minute.

Take a minute, to think about how , the minute he won, he was catapulted to stardom- in just seconds. Every news channel carried his story , his name was all over websites, forwards were being sent, via sms.

He was pretty much everywhere
Half an hour after his victory was announced, one news channel even flashed
a promo ad for an ''Achiever Special- The Story of Abhinav Bindra- Tonight at 8 pm.''
Graphics on channels continuously flashed that sweet, school boy face and anchors rambled on...

Hold it! Just one second!

Up until then, did anyone know:
Who was Abhinav Bindra?
Which city was he from?
When did he start training?
How many competitions has he won before the gold?

Where was all this information before the Olympics? Who made up India's contingent? How many sports are we taking part in? For how long did these people train? Where did they train? Did they receive anything from the government?
Why was India's contingent not up there, with the Bollywood stars? Corny as it might sound, aren't they the Shahrukh Khans and Kareena Kapoors of shooting, boxing and athletics?

If a news channel is able to create a story, within a few hours of Bindra winning the gold then why didn't they do it before?
Why does everyone want to jump on the bandwagon only if its gold plated and has cushioned seats? Doesn't anyone see any prospects before that? Maybe they are busy on another wagon (It must have air conditioning)
Why is it a story only when there's a positive connotation? Whatever happened to plain ol' information?

Everyone wanted to cash in on the action while it was going on. The next day, papers were full of ads that read -'Congratulations Bindra, you have done us all proud.. .’

It’s been a few days since the gold now, and the hype seems to have died down.
Headlines are back to' Misfired again' and 'Knockout for India'.
Stories have gone back to the staid, 'India has no infrastructure and therefore no winners', 'So many people , so few medals' and, my personal favourite, ' The Government's attitude to sports...'
The minute the success stories stop , the advertisers pull out, the 'Specials at 8' cover something else and brands associate themselves with India's newest and latest .

In a country of 1.13 billion, what does it take to be recognised and splashed across the papers?
Why does everyone want to jump onto the same bandwagon, at the same time?

Hold that thought while I catch the latest bandwagon.
Here it comes,
It's called Indian Independence.

----

Will the real mourner please stand up?

A few days ago, I attended a peace talk , in honour of the victims of the recent bomb blasts across the country.
Who where these people?Is it for Ahemdabad or Bangalore? Will their families be present? What kind of resolve will citizens take?Is this the start of a new beginning?These were just some of the questions running through my mind on that damp and rainy Thursday evening.....


It was a beautiful evening of poetry readings -
There were readings from the works of Tagore,the Dohas of Kabir ,the holy texts and even something from a Polish poet.
It was a beautiful evening of song-
Deep and soulful renditions of powerful songs.
It was a beautiful evening of beautiful people,
with expensive perfume, beautiful silver & diamond jewellery
and even more expensive clothes.
It was a beautiful evening-
Except for the fact that hundreds of people had died a couple of days ago,
and even more were succumbing to their injuries in understaffed state run hospitals.
Children were orphaned and families shattered.
And the criminals are still on the loose,somewhere....

All this while poems were read, songs were sung, flashbulbs flashed and the papers printed about the beautiful that teared up, "in honour" of them.

When did you grow old?

This happened when I was looking away,
This happened when I was busy with something else.
This happened when the only interaction we had was me asking you for money.
This happened when I wasn’t paying attention to you.

Did you just stop dyeing your hair or was it always grey?
How come your feet ache all of the sudden?
Why are you suddenly so exhausted after a day at office?
You do Yoga now?
You’re planning on retiring in a year?

They say you need the rest,
They say your blood pressure is high,
Your feet aren’t that strong anymore
And your heart is weak.

Im sorry Dada,
I’ve been so obsessed with growing up I didn’t notice you growing old.
Submissions, deadlines, targets, projects, meetings – all that took you away from me has been now taking me away from you.

I realize now the meaning of your words-“what matters is what you’re coming home to”.
I want to understand your feelings,
Appreciate your kindness,
Comprehend your stories,
Decode your expressions,
And learn of the person you were before you were my father.

I worry now about your safety when you travel alone,
If you have taken your medicine on time,
And if you are getting enough exercise.

Im sorry I wasn’t looking,
I promise never to look away again.

Only In Kerala

Fluorescent pink houses,
erechi fry,
loyal and subservient servants,
family histories,
unabashed downpours,
bugs,
baby coconuts,
and even tinier mangoes.

Thrice christened octogenarian dogs
still being called "puppy",
Bridal chambers,
Coconut oil,
old, fast fading childhood memories,
and a renewed interest in life.

Far off birds and more distant trucks,
a peaceful break,
clean , pure, air,
malyalam.

My beautiful grandmother and regal grandfather,
black and white pictures of lives gone by.

Frozen time with a sense of the inevitable future,
temple speciality paysam,
distant relatives,
the smell of sandalwood,
and a sense of Finally, I'm home .

Sociological Blues

Marx spoke of the development of human society in a two fold aspect-
With the increasing control of man over nature, and the increasing alienation of man from nature.
Alienation, as Karl Marx stated was when products produced by man himself confront him in a manner that eventually leads to his dominance by the product.
Marx warned that as society progressed, alienation of man from his creation, himself and his community will continue.
On my way home from my sociological theory examination,(with my head swimming with ideas of comte, Durkheim, Merton , and what not), I saw a sight, that made me wonder if Karl Marx was a predictor of the future, or if society has progressed to this mess.
There was a man, on the curb of a street, who was one of those “walking advertisements”.
He was actually wearing a bill board. All though living in Mumbai for more than half my life has enabled to see sights like this (and even stranger, mind you), this was the first time, and it hit me so hard, and suddenly, all that social theory came rushing back.
“Man eventually becomes a victim of exploitation- the more wealth he generates, the greater is his devaluation-until finally, he is reduced to the level of a commodity.”
Have we as individuals in society stopped respecting the power of the individual intellect?
Has greed taken over all our other social emotions?
Comte stated that society would eventually progress to a state he called Positivism- this would be a period governed by rationale, love and order. Some how, in 2008, that seems pretty far away for a goal of society.
Has society progressed to such a level that the capitalist spirit has taken over everything? Must everything be determined by profit, rationale and division?
Where are the individual, the emotional and the psychological in this process- have we lost touch with who we really are in this race against time for money?
Do men still deal with problems of identity in places apart from their homes? Are we all inching towards a self caused alienation or is this something that the general collective creates?
I can’t help but wonder- who is to blame and how will this story end?

Welcome!
This is something Ive been meaning to do for the longest time,
so finally its here. I can now check that off my list of Things to do before I die/turn 30/forget
Enjoy!